We knew that the en-suite would be the first cosmetic renovation. We learned a lot from this.

The main issue, was the master toilet. It was a macerator that pushed the waste down the pipe. But physics meant that it would always choose the path of least resistance, which on occasion was the shower in the en-suite. Posh friends from Zurich had a shock!

The goal was a new toilet in the master bathroom plus new shower, sink and toilet in the en-suite. The guy who did it made a bit of a pigs-ear. Issues included:

• Using normal plasterboard, rather than blue marine for humid environments.
• The wrong toilets installed.
• The wrong sink and stand installed.
• The shower ‘O’ rings not installed.
• The wrong toilet seats – it is why they still slip today.
• Door hung incorrectly, it should open to hide the toilet, not reveal it.
• The glass panel above the door was badly built and had to be redone by Sebastian.
• The shower was originally installed without a value or U-Bend to prevent smells. It took four plumbers before Sebastian, again, fixed the issue.

My personal favourite was the disco lights that had been installed behind the shower. These were left in-place and only by accident did we discover them when we saw a purple glow.

We never saw the builder ever again.

The one good thing we did, was to widen the waste pipework and extend it to the attic, ready for a bathroom, which came two years later in 2021.